Revelations & Vanity...

This visit to the States has been a little different than the ones before. It seems like I have truly forgotten a few "American" things and I'm just taken back a little bit. I still want to automatically throw my toilet paper in the trash instead of flushing it. My kids will always throw it away. I can't teach them otherwise, so if we come to your house and that happens, SORRY. I love how there are like 20 brands of shampoo & body wash to choose from. I love that I can order a pizza over the phone and not have to ask the person on the other line to repeat everything.



One of the biggest changes is in my mentality of America and the "American dream". I used to always want a decent-sized, 3 bedroom house with a playroom and a huge back yard. Even though I knew that God had called us to Mexico, I still wanted it maybe someday. Derrick, our little girl and I were driving to Kroger after getting her ears pierced. We were driving along a road that we have driven many times and I have loved the houses on this road for many years. This time, as we drove along, I didn't desire these houses. I didn't pass by them and imagine what they look like on the inside and what our family would look and live like in those houses. I no longer have that craving to live in the States under the title of "living the American dream". My "American dream" is to be where ever God wants me. Now if that is back here in the States, then that is where I want to be. For now it is in Mexico and I am happy to serve Jesus there. I have so many friends, many of them are bloggers on here, that are serving Jesus right where He wants them, here in the US. Ministry is not about where you live it's about doing what you feel that God wants you to do and obeying Him. So instead of calling it my "American dream", I will call it my destiny. I want to live out the destiny that God has for me. He knows me way better than I know myself so I think that He knows way better where is the best place for me to live.



Enough rambling...I'm sick from living in no central A/C & no humidity to now living in A/C and humidity. It's like when the weather changes and you get sick. My climate & altitude has changed and I am sick. I don't like taking medicine, especially since I'm nursing. But I'm going to try something to help me sleep. OH, and the following are pics of our daughter's ear piercing adventure. She had one ear done at a time and she didn't even flinch, thank you Jesus!!





Here she is getting ready. She's holding the Claire's bear and stroking the tag between her fingers. That what she does w/ her animals at home to calm herself.



The second ear. Didn't flinch and didn't even whine. Maybe she has a high tolerance for pain thanks to her older brother.




Tah-dah!!! That was the extent of her unhappiness. But let me just tell you, she walked with increased confidence and a hip-shaking strut when we left the store.

Brace yourselves...

I think that it's about time for me to pour out my heart about Jesus, Mexico, and the combination of the two. This will probably be a long post. So go grab yourself a cup of coffee and relax. You may be here a while :-).

In 1998 Jesus really started to change my life by leaps and bounds. I was beginning to see the true realization that ministry comes in many different shapes and forms. The Lord spoke to my heart and told me that I was going to be a wife & support to my husband, no matter where He leads us...whether working in corporate America, pastoring a small church in the middle of no-where, or whatever. That was an interesting thing for the Lord to share with me considering, at that point, I had no man in my life whatsoever.

Shortly after that time, I met Derrick and he began to share with me his vision to minister in Mexico, Central & South America. As much as I am thinking "YIKES", I am trusting God because He had led me to that point.

Fast-forward 6 years. The Lord releases us to move to Mexico, to live and work full-time. At this point, though, I had a very solidifed life in Georgia. We have a great home church. We had most of our family and friends very close to us. We had our first 2 kids, who loved being around all of their Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and friends. The question resonating in my head was, "HOW ON EARTH CAN YOU RIP YOURSELF & YOUR FAMILY AWAY FROM ALL OF THIS?" I didn't know how, but I knew that we had to. In my spirit I knew that things had to change. It's like waiting at the gate for the plane to leave. If you sit in the plane forever, with the anticipation of what's to come, and you never leave, it will drive you crazy! That's where we were...at the gate, waiting for take-off.

I didn't really cry that much when we first moved here. It was all new and exciting. It was fun and it was an adventure. Then came language school. Language school was so tough! Compile that with trying to live in a totally different culture, while learning the language and having to try to speak the little bit of Spanish that you have learned in everyday life while also trying to take care of 2 kids & a husband & a home & study Spanish for 2 hours a night...let's just say it gets a little nerve-racking.

After language school some of the tension eased off. I wasn't tied down for 6 hours a day (4 hours of school plus 2 of homework). I was just left with trying to build on the foundation of Spanish that I already had. We also moved into a house in a very nice, quiet neighborhood. Nonetheless, I still had moments of NOT wanting to be here, especially after a trip to Wal-Mart (Wal-Marts here are insane).

I have had many times where I cried because my kids didn't have their best friends to play with, or they didn't have their Grandparents to spend time with, or their church friends. I've cried because my son won't get to be a part of little league and my daughter won't get to be a part of dance classes. I cried because I was going to have my baby in another country without Dr. Soundararajan. I cried because all I wanted to do is run through some soft grass, squish my feet into a carpeted floor, and hear English every where that I go. I cried because I wanted to sit through a church service that was all in English. BUT (that's a big BUT) through it all I cried out to Jesus. Many times there was immediate comfort and peace, and many times it was a process of weeding things out of my heart. Jesus was, and is, always there for me.

Right before I had my baby I read the book "Enjoying God" by S.J. Hill. I can't even begin to give a brief summary of the book because it is one, big, fat piece of steak! One of the main themes throughout the book is how Father God loves me unconditionally and that His desire, above all, is that I spend time with Him, love Him & serve Him. His ultimate desire for my life is not that I minister to Mexicans. His ULTIMATE desire for me is that I minister to Him!!! Don't you just love that He's selfish for us like that?!?!

This concept got me thinking. I know that we are here to minister and serve the Mexican people and to help raise up Mexican warriors in the Kingdom of God. But I think that God had a hidden agenda to sending us here. I think that His hidden agenda was to bring us closer to Him and to a deeper dependence on Him. God led us some where that was totally out of my comfort zone. He stripped me of all of the things that I held onto like a baby blankey. And what did it make me do? It made me reach out for Him. It made me run into Him as my Stronghold and my place of comfort. It has made me rely on Him for everything that I possibly can.

I have told many people that I would not be here if it wasn't for Jesus telling us to be here. If I had my fleshly ways, I'd be in the States, close to a Target, a Chick-fil-A, and English-speaking people. I say now that I love this country! Not because of the people, the food, the climate, etc., but because this is the place that I have grown closest to Jesus. My relationship with Him is forever changed. I know that where ever He leads us in the future will produce more change and I will continue to be purged of my fleshly ways. But my dependence on Him is infinitely greater than it was before. If I had never come here or if I had bucked against coming here, I would have missed out on a great treasure.

I still desire to spend time with all of our family and friends. I want to hug their necks and tell them all how much I love them and appreciate them. I thank God that He blessed us with such wonderful people in our lives. I think that another blessing in disguise is that we wouldn't have realized how much we love & appreciate our family and friends if it wasn't for leaving. The old saying holds true..."Distance makes the heart grow fonder". So I received a double blessing. The blessing of being closer to Jesus and having a deeper love for Him AND the blessing of knowing just how much I love my family and friends.

I guess I say all of this to say, if you are having a hard time or if you are wondering what in the heck you are doing in the place that you are, CRY OUT TO JESUS (taking a Third Day line). It just might be that He has you where you are to bring you closer to Him!

10 things that He likes about me...

Tonight, as I was saying good night to my kids, I did something new. I started out by telling them that they make me happy and that they make Daddy happy. I also told them that they make Jesus happy! I then proceeded to tell them some of the things about them that make Jesus happy. For example, their smiles, their laughs, when they speak Spanish, etc. I did it with the kids individually and so I made most of it specific to each kid. I then decided to do it for myself. I know that I am REALLY limiting God by only naming 10 things (because He loves me infinitely), but for the sake of a readable blog, I'm giving 10.

Jesus loves:

1) My laugh
2) That I desire to do His will more than anything. Even though I fail many times, my desire is strong.
3) That I work hard to take care of my family.
4) That since I know that I can’t hide anything from Him anyway, I spill all of my ugly guts to Him in prayer, knowing that He loves me anyway.
5) When I dance…whether in worship or to make my kids laugh.
6) That I desire a clean house, but often don’t get it done because spending time with my kids is more of a priority (Maybe that’s why He gave us Erika).
7) That I’ve sacrificed all that was comfortable to me to move here to serve Him & be closer to Him.
8) That I desire to eat better…desire being the key word there.
9) That I love the rain.
10) That I love the beach.

As simple as the list seems, it was really hard for me to think of those things. I suggest that you try it. Whether it's in your personal time with God or on a blog, try to think of 10 things about you that make Jesus happy. As much as I know that I make Jesus happy with all that I am and all that He created me to be, it was hard for me to find those things and to admit them.

Enough of being transparent. I'm going to feed Israel and go to bed.

I Dared to Call Him Father...

I started reading the book "I Dared to Call Him Father" by Bilquis Sheikh yesterday afternoon and I finished it today! I could not put it down and I took every spare moment that I had to read it. I am working to read as much as I can before Israel comes, but I read through this book just because it was so amazing. In short, it's about a Muslim woman living in Pakistan that has 2 dreams from Jesus. She knew that there was a missionary family living close by, so she shared the dreams with the wife and the story goes on from there. It's such an awesome account of what God can do when you are called to His Kingdom and He wants you for His own! I HIGHLY recommend the book. Along with a great testimony of God's power, the book also gave me some insight into how the Muslim mind works, how they view Christians, and what an awesome perspective a converted Muslim has on the history of the Middle East and the history of the Bible. So this is my official plug for the book I DARED TO CALL HIM FATHER, by Bilquis Sheikh.

Death leaves us full of questions...

These pictures are pictures of my friend, Jocelyn; with her family and with her husband. Last night, for reasons that nobody is aware of at this point, Jocelyn decided to take her life. I am in shock. I am so heartbroken. It is so weird to look at these pictures and know that I will never see my friend again. Right now we are praying for peace, not answers. Maybe the answers will come later, maybe they won't. We are also praying for the family & friends that she left behind. For now I can say that I will miss my friend. She was a beautiful person, inside & out. In the end, it goes to show that you never know the battles that are going inside a person's mind.

What are we doing here?

Since this blog is new, I figured that I would clue people in as to why we are in Mexico and what we are currently doing.

We moved here exactly 2 years ago. In January of 2006 we made the long, 3-day drive, from Douglasville, GA to Guadalajara, Mexico. We had a trailer full of stuff and our minds were full of wonder. We knew that God had given Derrick a vision to see Bible Training Centers all over Mexico. But at that point, our first priority was to learn the language and get somewhat acquainted with the culture. We also needed to get to know our team members & build strong relationships with them. We are members of a team of missionaries, FIREmexico. We are currently 5 families, some with more time here and some with less. It is a good support system and we can really see the five fold ministry coming to fruition through this team.

So here we are, 2 years later. We attended an intense language school, specifically for missionaries. We are still learning the culture, and I know that we will never understand everything about it. And in 2 weeks, Derrick is starting the first Bible Training Center.

WHAT IS A BIBLE TRAINING CENTER?
The type of Bible Training Center that my husband desires to see is a 2-year school that teaches the Bible, teaches the five fold ministry, how to impart the five fold ministry, and taking it to Jerusalem (Guadalajara), Samaria (the Mexican Indians), and to the ends of the world. One thing that is for sure is that a Mexican's face, and passport, can get him/her into many closed countries that ours cannot.

On January 26th the doors are opening and the school is beginning. School is one day a week, Saturday, to help with their work schedules. Derrick has 10 students already! Our team members, Andy & A.W., are going to help with teaching the classes. There will also be a time for hands-on, practical ministry...evangelism, discipleship, worship, teaching, etc.

Also, this school is not being started to plant a church. There may be students that graduate from the school that go on the plant churches elsewhere. This is not a tool to take away from the already-established Mexican churches. It's a tool to enhance them & strengthen the churches.

WHAT'S MY MINISTRY IN MEXICO?
I am, and until my kids are out of the house, will be a stay-at-home Mom. My main focus, or ministry, is my children, their relationship w/ God, and their education. We are trying to get the kids involved in baseball & gymnastics, so that will add a little bit more to my plate, on top of homeschool (which is A LOT). Thankfully both activities are within a decent amount of walking distance from our house. We are also expecting our 3rd child in early May. So that will add another spice to the mix!

I also feel that it is my ministry to make our house a home, no matter where we are. It is hard and it stresses me out sometimes. In the midst of trying to make a home for our family, I'm still in confusion due to being out of my comfort zone. So it is a process and I am learning something new everyday. I am sure that about the time I've figured it out, my kids will be long gone, making babies of their own.

That is our life up to this point. I'm looking forward to sharing many stories from here on out.

Many blessings as I live my life by faith!

P.S. ~ This thing is not letting me edit like I want to. There is supposed to be a paragraph break at "I also feel that it is my ministry...". So anyway, don't know what to do about that. Argh!