Thinking...

Yesterday we drove out to another missionaries' house. They live outside of the city, so it was a long drive. One thing that struck me on this long drive is how, no matter where we go in this city, we are stared down by the Mexicans. There are a lot of Americans here, so in my mind, I'm wondering why they feel the need to stare us down. Then it led me to another train of thought...for as long as we are here in Mexico, or where ever we end up in Central or South America, we will always stand out and we will always be stared at for being white-skinned. I'm always going to look, and therefore feel, like an outsider. No matter how much I try to infiltrate myself, I am an American and I will never escape it; not that I want to. But it's still so weird to live in a place that is your home, but not your home; where you have friendships, but not the kind that you have in the States b/c of either the language barrier or the culture barrier. It's the strangest sort of limbo that I have ever felt. I wonder how it will feel 2 more years from now. How will I adjust to the limbo, if at all? How can I wrap my mind around it to make the confusion seem normal? God's grace is there, but grace doesn't always give me understanding. I'm sorry if this sounds confusing. It's just my life.