~ Seasons ~

I've had the seasons on my mind lately. Mainly because I am ready for spring. I'm ready to see little buds on the trees and tulips rising. I'm ready to have stroller weather to go for walks/jogs. Baseball is starting on Saturday for our oldest. This is a new area for us. I've never had to do practices, uniforms, games, etc. Our little princess is starting piano. I'm weaning the baby...not because I necessarily want to, but I'm just not producing enough for him to eat.

Anyway! It seems that at the beginning of a new season, everyone is excited. New activities, new holidays, new clothes, new weather, and so on. But by the end of the season, they are ready to move on to the next. We are tired of the cold, we are tired of having to wear coats, we are tired of snow days, and we are tired of high gas bills. By the end of spring, we'll be ready to get in the pool. By the end of summer, we'll be ready for the cool down of fall. By fall, we'll be ready for the cold and Christmas. And the cycle continues.

Imagine my plight when we lived in Mexico. We had dry and rainy. During the dry season, it was about the same temperature. During the US "winter" months we would have cold temperatures at night. By April the temps would rise to about 100 with no humidity. And then the rain would come mid-May and cool things off a little. But it was mainly sunny and warm with no humidity. It was one long warm spell with no change. I know that many people think that they would love that. But try it and see. Eventually you will long for cold, even if it's just for a week. You will long to have a nice, fall day with a pumpkin spice latte.

I think that God created us for seasons. If we lived our lives with no change whatsoever, we would truly die of boredom or frustration. We have external seasons and internal. We go through seasons of our lives that are fruitful and fun. There are others that are dry, frustrating, and usually referred to as "a desert".

My most recent season has been one of dealing with 2 babies while also dealing with the loss of Chuck. I never imagined that having 2 babies would be this difficult. I have been a major homebody. It has just been easier for me to stay home than to pack the kids up and go somewhere. It's usually easier, too, for me to stay home instead of getting a babysitter; because then I'd still have to prepare everything before I go. Our 2 oldest are pretty easy. Feed them. They can use the bathroom on their own. They like to play video games (winter) and play outside (not-winter).

Trying to live around 2 different baby schedules is trying on me. I'm sure that it may seem easy to an outsider. But for me, it hasn't been an easy transition. Until now.

My babies are getting older. Our littlest baby is pre-crawling. He gets up on his knees. He takes 2 naps a day. He eats baby food. He will be weaned shortly. Therefore, I'm venturing out more. I've mentioned my trips to the gym. I'm ready to start walking the neighborhood with a stroller. I think, provided the right cart is available, I could grocery shop with them. GASP!

My season is changing. It's been a long one. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Spring is coming. I'm can feel myself beginning to bloom and blossom as a person and a friend. I am truly excited to see what more will come. This has been a difficult time. My words written above do not express the MILLIONS of tears that I've cried, the days that I've forgotten to brush my teeth or shower, and how many times I've had to re-wash a load in the washer because I let it sour. I'm by no means completely out of my desert or my Siberia. But I'm on my way out with Jesus holding my hand, guiding me through it all.