How are things, really???

Tough!

I haven't been writing as much lately because I have been going through a tough time. I don't want to write about piddley things. I also don't want to leave you with a "Debbie Downer" post, so I will try to be as "middle of the road" as possible.

A while back I wrote about my time in moving here and how God really took me through a process of getting closer to Him. Well, I'm at that point again. We've had a hard time financially lately. And I don't mean we couldn't afford to go out to eat. I mean, we have bills due and we are praying for the money to come in; which it always does :-). Plus this has been my most emotional pregnancy to where I can cry on demand (test me the next time you see me). I have begun to feel like a stranger in this land again, where last year I was doing okay. My flesh has been crying out for something...a long vacation at the beach, more money, a lifetime supply of Cherry Coke, Chick-fil-A, a shopping spree at Target or Old Navy, time alone with no kids for just one day, etc. But essentially what it has brought me to is that in my flesh dying, I am crying out to God more. Now don't get me wrong, I cry out to God on a daily/hourly/minute-by-minute basis. This is a different cry. Like when you are fasting. Except this fast has been brought on by God Himself, and not by my choice. God is using this time to draw me closer to Him. I am choosing to listen to God with all of my human heart. He may be speaking His answers slower than my timing and not in the way that I want to hear them, but I will listen to Him, receive His words, and grow closer to my Heavenly Daddy; my Daddy that I picture myself crawling up into His lap like a little girl in a long, pink, satin nightgown holding a teddy bear and just needing to be comforted in His arms of love. He is my Ultimate Comforter. He is the One that I rely on for my happiness and contentment...not the things of my flesh.

My favorite passage in the Bible is Psalm 73:23-26. It says:

Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand. You will guide me with Your counsel, And afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

My favorite part that I constantly say over & over to myself is, "My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." What more do I need when God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever? I don't need vacations, money, shopping, etc. Those are all just things I am trying to use to cope. What I truly need to cope in life, what I truly need to be content in life is my God.

I have never been a morning person, especially now that I have 3 kids and another one on the way. But God is changing me. I have learned to love getting up in the morning, before the rest of the house. I have a chair on the roof in which to sit. I love the sound of the birds, the cool breeze, and silence; no cars, no crazy, needing-a-tune-up trucks & motorcycles. Just calm and Jesus.

So...how are things with you? REALLY?