2010 ~ Not my easiest year

I've been reading a lot of updates about how 2010 was peoples' greatest year yet.  I hate to say it, but it wasn't my favorite year.  We had 3 major events in 2009 that fed over into 2010, making it a character building (difficult) year.

The first of the events was of course the death of my father-in-law.  Even though he met Jesus 19 months ago, we went through a lot of firsts without him this past year.  Not to mention we had many trying situations that made us wish even more that he was here, to share his advice and wisdom.  Chuck was slow to speak and quick to listen.  He gave the best advice.  Advice that we really needed this past year.  God's grace is sufficient and I know that He is omniscient.  It's noted that his presence and his wisdom was missed.

The second of the events was another that ties into Chuck...we left a denomination and planted a church.  We didn't have a church split or anything ugly.  It was very clean and very friendly.  Planting a church was harder than I ever figured it would be.  Even though we left the denomination at the end of 2009, we are only 9 months into our church plant.  There were many situations this past year, directly related to the church plant, that I had wished so much that Chuck was here.  He was for this church plant.  He believed in the vision.  We had to cry out to God even more.  Our hearts were broken many times.  Our minds were frustrated.  To quote Joseph Garza, "If you don't believe that demons are real, try planting a church."  Really, try pioneering anything.  When you are doing something that is new or against the grain, you find a lot of opposition; making 2010 a tough year.  Full of GRACE, but tough.  Grace is a subject that I could spend years on, but I won't do that today.  Just know that if it wasn't for God's grace, I wouldn't be here.

The third was the birth of baby #4.  Born in August 2009, he came the day before the first day of school for my older 2.  He and his older brother are 1 year, 3 months, and 1 day apart.  There were phases where their age difference was ok.  For the most part, it has been so hard.  The past 3 or 4 months, since our baby learned to walk, have been even more difficult.  They are now both toddlers.  Both of them are into everything...especially my husband's office.  I am constantly cleaning up after them, snatching things from their hands, mediating a battle over a toy, changing diapers, fighting to make them eat something besides yogurt & craisins, and getting them to sleep when they are supposed to.  It's exhausting.  Even with all of the help that my husband gives and our babysitter, at the end of the day, all I long for is silence.  This also takes a toll on any time to myself...quiet, with God, exercise.  To gain that time to myself, I'd have to get up earlier.  Well the last thing I want at this point is less sleep.  I'm torn.

Like I mentioned above, God's grace has been there through all of these times.  It's God's grace that keeps me from tumbling over the edge.  When people say, "Oh, I couldn't even imagine losing a loved one, or having kids that close together, (or whatever situation anybody else is going through)", they CAN'T imagine it.  Because when you imagine going through things like that, you don't imagine it with the grace of God.  But when situations come up in your life that sharpen you or completely test your faith and character, God's grace is there and that is the ONLY way that you will survive.  It doesn't mean that things are easier or that life is going to be a breeze.  It does mean that you will make it through and you will be better for it.

"We as humans have something that not even the Son of God had; we will NEVER be forsaken." ~ Derrick

Here's to 2011!