I fight many battles in my mind. MANY. Some are easy and are simply solved with a scripture or a lesson learned from the scriptures. Others aren't so black & white. I don't do good with middle-ground. So finding a happy medium is a very difficult task for me. Here's my dilemma.
I am a wife and a mom. I live my life to take care of my husband & kids. After a while, all of this selflessness snowballs and I want to explode. I want adult conversation, I want to exercise, I want to have quiet time, I want to lotion my legs, I want to wear nice, not-cheap make-up. I could go on.
But then I feel selfish. My family needs their laundry folded, their food cooked, their drinks poured, their homework checked, their diapers changed, to be nursed. Again, I could go on.
Where do I find the balance? How do I find time for me and make sure that my family is taken care of at the same time? Oh, did I mention that I want to sleep at some point, too? At some point or another at least one person in my family is in need of something from me at all times of the day (minus the 6 hours that I get to sleep).
My house is also still a wreck and full of stacks of stuff to go through from moving. I don't know if I will EVER get through it all. I have so many areas that I want to clean out, boxes that I need to go through, and closets that are getting overloaded with stuff until I can find a place for it to go.
I don't know if I'm seeking a solution, advice, encouragement, some guidance, or what. I'm just typing and getting it off of my chest. Until the next time I reach a point of craziness.
2 comments:
I often think it would be so easy if we could just go house to house to help each other and cheer each other on. I know I'd get more organizing done if I had some lovely female friends laughing with me as I did it.
Be encouraged dear Valerie. God will bless you through this time. And I promise, it goes so fast pretty soon you'll have all the free time you could ever want when they are out in that big, big world.
That being said, I've found it very helpful to have something that's mine during the time I've been a SAHM. Even a small ministry at church that has nothing to do with kids has been helpful. I'll pray God shows you a place you can be that has nothing to do with changing diapers or wiping snotty noses for an hour or so a week.
A Bible Study, maybe? An evening at the library alone? Visiting with a shut-in? Teaching ESOL or Spanish tutor?
Are we going to get together one day? I would love to visit sometime.
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